Spring Jane Ball
by Boxhillboo00
Summary: Meet the Jane Austen Heroines Baseball Team


"There's no crying in Jane Ball" –Margaret C Sullivan

Please welcome the **2018 Team Austen Heroines Baseball Team**!

Catcher-Player Manager: **Elizabeth Bennet** *

What can I write about this heroine that haven't been written. Already a lock for the Hall of Fame. Very chatty behind the plate. Gets along with most opponents…certainly not with Caroline Bingley. First game against Caroline Bingley….Caroline: "I see you are 6 inches deep in mud as usual." Elizabeth: "Mr Darcy gives his best regards!"

Caroline Bingley skips most games against the Heroines as she bats well below the Mendoza Line* against the Heroines.

Pitcher: **Emma Woodhouse**

She has all the pitches…makes the game look easy. Only gets into trouble when she shakes off her Catcher. Mrs. Weston occasionally has to remind her to follow her Catcher's signals. Truly in the prime of her career…such bloom, such smooth pitching.

First Base: **Jane Bennet**

Always a kind word for all who journey to and pass 1st base. Even chief Austen Baddie Player Caroline Bingley….although Jane has thought about giving a hint of calling her "beloved" sister-in-law "pernicious". Also occasionally calms her sister down when she gets a bit worked up over the vile play of the Austen Baddies and Evil Three * 3 Twisted English Sisters.

Always genteelly "hits it when they ain't"(Wee Willie Keeler)

Second Base: **Elinor Dashwood**

Always calm. Keeps her sister in the game.

Calmly hits to all fields. Occasionally drills the ball through evil lyin Lucy Steele.

Shortstop: **Marianne Dashwood**

Wild five tool player! Occasionally gets too worked up….occasionally gets into hot streaks that she can't be stopped. Hits for power and average. Plays best in the time of dead leaves!

Third Base: **Susan Price**

The Rookie. So well-schooled by her elder sister, she's stepped into the lineup like a seasoned veteran. Don't try hit it thru her, over her, under her….she saw it all in the minors and knows how to handle everything throw at her. Nicknamed "Swiss Army Knife".

Left Field: **Eleanor Tilney**

So smooth in the field. She and Anne Elliot allow Catherine to cover tremendous ground. It's no gothic horror if Catherine takes a wild chance for a great play and misses. Always looks her best in the home white uniform.

Center Field: **Catherine Morland**

No one ever has covered as much ground as Catherine. It is like she was born to be a baseball player…which is novel! No one can hold a candle to her amazing range. "Poor" Isabella Thorpe(sub Mendoza Line* hitting against the Austen Heroines) has given up trying to hit the ball into the outfield…. She's tried to hit it down the lines and Catherine haunted and hunted down the ball like a spectral force. She might have screamed…."This for James and ME!". Eleanor and Anne always have her back…which allows Catherine to be Catherine. At 17, one of the youngest players ever. Her recent move to Woodson Cottage has broken many hearts. Playing next to her sister-in-law and BFF has been a blessed dream for her!

Right Field: **Anne Elliot**

There is no one as capable as Anne. Calmly goes about her business with grace. Always a great sailor no matter how stormy the weather. Never a drift at sea out there(I could go on and on and on but…). At 27 was showing signs of slowing down but amazingly back in bloom! All the papers report that it might have something to do with a certain Sea Captain but Anne isn't telling…but her sweet smile says something. Occasionally has to give way in the late innings to Charlotte or Louisa.

Closer: **Jane Fairfax**

Has all the pitches…especially a sneaky fastball. Can only go a couple of innings but governs her efforts perfectly. Occasionally plays the organ perfectly too. You never know what she is thinking out there, her face is truly a mask of calm. Her recent move to Yorkshire has be frankly welcomed by all in the North…although she maintains an apartment in Highbury.

Pitching Coach: **Mrs. Weston**

Her pitching days are quite over. Great coach for Emma Woodhouse and the rest of the pitching staff.

Hitting Coach: **Mrs. Croft**

Always well prepares the Heroines hitters so they are in smooth hitting waters.

Bench Coach/Base Stealer/Super Scout: **Fanny Price**

If you need a base stolen(a la Dave Roberts for the Red Sox against the Yuckees 2004), Fanny Price will do it. If you tip off your pitches, Fanny will observe it and report it. Have a batting weakness, Fanny will find it. There is no acting in her game. She won't steal signs…except when evil Mary Crawford is involved. Normally a .375 hitter/harp player, the "Siren of London" hits barely .125 against the Heroines.

Backups: **Kitty Bennet, Henrietta Musgrove, Louisa Musgrove, Harriet Smith, Emma and Elizabeth Watson, Charlotte Hayward, Frederica Vernon**

1st Base Coach: **Mrs. Jennings**

3rd Base Coach: **Mrs. Gardiner**

Organist/Vocalist: **Mary Bennet**

Assistant Organist/Vocalist: **Georgiana Darcy**

Mary Bennet has improved her playing with the assistance of Georgiana Darcy. Occasionally Mary has "challenges" hitting the proper notes in several anthems, but don't think of booing her. Elizabeth and Jane will find you and give you a piece of their minds!

Scorekeeper: **Mrs Smith**

Team Poet: **Louisa Musgrove**

Chief Financial Officer: **Lady Russell**

 **The Opponents** :

The Gaskells:

Very good overall team. Just can't quite beat the Austen heroines on a regular basis. Generally loses the World Lit Series 4-2 to the Austen Heroines. Generally hold their own against every one else. Some wild games against The Wharton Gang.

The Russian Lits:

They only play well in snow and are constantly arguing with each other over nothing.

The French Lits:

Baseball is boring and not us.

The Wharton Gang:

Great team from innings one to eight…and then they always give it away with a tragic ending in the 9th or extra innings!

Evil Three * 3 Twisted English Sisters:

What a crazy team…err hmmm they never really play as a team! Something is not right in their attic…if you catch my drift.

Canadian Lits: Carol Shields and others.

The Austen Baddies:

They never learn their lessons! Almost never play as a team. 9 players….9 cabs.

Have never beaten the Heroines…will never either with the way they play. Their manger, Lady Catherine, never takes advice from anyone! She didn't play the game…nor would she have a great proficient!

Several others!

Play Ball!

*Mendoza Line = The Mendoza Line is an expression in baseball in the US, deriving from the name of shortstop Mario Mendoza, whose poor batting average is taken to define the threshold of incompetent hitting(Wikipedia). Below .200.

*I've used maiden names for the Heroines!


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